Introspection

What is it about the night that magnifies emotions, thoughts and feelings? Really thankful for the time away from studies, commitments to just focus on what’s inside.

So many things that I would like to say – different things to different people yet when I’m with them, my words fail me. I’d be at the brink of saying something important and then, fall short and immediately go back to comfortable, small talk. Not that I don’t like it but sometimes, what needs to be said needs to be said. I wish my life would be more like a drama, that someone would script my words and I’d just have to recite it. Hahahah evidently watching too much of The Heirs. Ok actly as much as I enjoy that show I rly dislike the parts where they play ‘LOVE IS THE MOMENT~’ or play some intense music cos the two leads are fighting and they just keep filming the actors staring at each other like hello nobody does that faster say something leh 

December has started and finals are over but it feels like I’ve been doing nothing much haha, mainly just dramas and worrying about my driving test, which I PASSED btw hahaha only by God’s grace really because I honestly thought that I was going to fail after striking the kerb. AND I was praying so hard for a nice instructor because when I was in the waiting room, the testers that came in to call their students were all stern and had low and bellowing voices I was already intimidated. #weakling and when my tester said ‘Natalie’ I was so happy because he seemed like a kind old man, and he was!! Reassured me before everything started and in my head I was just like ‘omg thank you jesus ok i can do this let’s go’ and all was well until nervousness started to kick in again and boom it happened and throughout the rest of the test I was just like :( until the end when I saw the slip I was so close to jumping and hugging my tester lolz. So anyway thank you everyone who wished and prayed for me, I will try my best not to be a road hazard hehe. 

I wish my thoughts could flow as easily when I talk to people as when I write in here.. life would be a lot easier wouldn’t it? I mostly just feel awkward talking too much about myself, I prefer listening to others UNLESS I rly rly feel that they’re super interested in knowing about me. I don’t know why either. Hmmm 

Wow I haven’t been writing much in here, maybe it’s time to start again? December has always been my favorite month and is somehow really important to me so I have to make sure I spend it well, yes? Okay. No depending on other people, make it happen. :)

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