Know what you want and fight for it.

Ridicz how money is literally the only thing standing between me and what I want, but it’s also reality. Reality is ridicz. One of those times I wish where I was just born into a rich family hahaha ok kidding, I’m already blessed with a loving and warm family and I’m honestly thankful for that, one shouldn’t ask for too much. In a way.. I guess not having the financial means to go there forces me to really fight for my dreams. (lol literally had a dream about winning the lottery that funded my education but that’s besides the point) As far as I remember I’ve never fought for anything in my life, ever. Everything was just there & if I wanted something and didn’t get it on the first try, I’d give up almost immediately LOL what a loser/ spoilt brat/ sheltered kid. So if I had the money to go overseas to study I wouldn’t have had to fight for anything for my entire life – maybe this is a blessing in disguise after all? My biggest flaw is probably the lack of tenacity so this is probably God moulding me into a better person. If I don’t get it, there will always be other options. I’d miss everyone here to death anyway, so that’ll save me the heartache. (HAHA trying to find reasons to make myself feel better in the worst case scenario) Oh well.

Certainly not about to give up now even though I’ve been feeling like doing so lately, being all pessimistic and feeling defeated even before the battle begins. It’s just really hard to think about rejection & feeling inferior again.. Rejection really sucks and who would want to go through it again and again right? Ok I rly need more confidence in myself……………… COME ON I CAN DO THIS I’M GONNA WRITE A BRILLIANT ESSAY GO ME

P.S. I’m so sure of it now but how am I ever going to tell you :(


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