Past

We have to discard the past
and, as one builds
floor by floor, window by window,
and the building rises,
so do we go on throwing down
first, broken tiles,
then pompous doors,
until out of the past
dust rises
as if to crash
against the floor,
smoke rises
as if to catch fire,
and each new day
it gleams
like an empty
plate.
There is nothing, there is always nothing.
It has to be filled
with a new, fruitful
space,
then downward
tumbles yesterday
as in a well
falls yesterday’s water,
into the cistern
of all still without voice or fire.
It is difficult to teach bones
to disappear,
to teach eyes
to close
but
we do it
unrealizing.
It was all alive,
alive, alive, alive
like a scarlet fish
but time
passed over its dark cloth
and the flash of the fish
drowned and disappeared.
Water water water
the past goes on falling
still a tangle
of bones
and of roots;
it has been, it has been, and now
memories mean nothing.
Now the heavy eyelid
covers the light of the eye
and what was once living
now no longer lives;
what we were, we are not.
And with words, although the letters
still have transparency and sound,
they change, and the mouth changes;
the same mouth is now another mouth;
they change, lips, skin, circulation;
another being has occupied our skeleton;
what once was in us now is not.
It has gone, but if the call, we reply;
“I am here,” knowing we are not,
that what once was, was and is lost,
is lost in the past, and now will not return.

Pablo Neruda

The thing about poems, or any other literature – is that you see something new every time you read it. Like this poem I just read online which is really relatable don’t you think? About moving on, about starting anew not only with each day or year but with the passing of each moment that you will never be able to get back. Am sure there’s more I’m missing.

That’s why I hate doing unseen in an hour. Worst part is when I obviously can’t see anything & I’m being forced to squeeze out some crappy point just for the sake of the essay. Having said that I don’t regret taking Lit of course. It will always remain my favourite subject that taught me things that stupid subjects like Econs will never be able to teach me. (HAHA you can see how incredibly biased I am.. & there’s both lit and econs tomorrow oops) A pity that tomorrow’ll be my last lit paper, going to try to have fun with the 3 essays and to hand in a piece of work that I am proud of.

Oh god what am I doing a day before my double paper. Probably had a total of 2 productive hours for the entire day today.

All in all, I must remember:
You are good when there’s nothing good in me,
You are peace when my fear is crippling,
You are true even in my wandering.

Goodnight & God bless

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