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You’re not as scared with the people you love

(Papercut – The Summer Set)

You don’t deserve what you’re going through right now. I wish I could make you see – how you’re stronger, better than all of that. Hope tht you’ll walk away from all this nonsense soon.

2 more dayssss

Hate it when I can’t fall asleep at night

Listening to her live performances because I couldn’t make it to watch her live today. Please be back next year Ingrid :-) <3

Knee deep in damage I’d done

Quick post because I’m having trouble sleeping. No one knows how much I really want this to be over. I probably don’t show it but I’ve honestly never felt this stressed before and I rly rly can’t wait for this – for the lack of a better word – shit to be over.

Glad I was able to meet up with 2 of my fav people today though. Wasn’t able to talk much but sigh.. It can wait till after prelims I guess. December please come quickly.

Have been studying since 9 haha back at my secret studying place for today :-) Today feels like it’s gna be productive!!
With 42 new Ed Sheeran songs on my playlist & a free flow of iced tea.
Hang in there me!!!!!! (& everyone else)

Oh and:

 

^ I wanttttt

A necessary change

Was just talking to Amanda the other day in school about how we don’t feel eighteen at all – and that the younger us would’ve expected a very different version of ourselves at this age – probably more mature, less childish, with concrete plans for our future. And we kind of concluded that t’s really because we haven’t gone through any serious changes in our lives to mark a certain level of growth in ourselves. There wasn’t exactly any major/ drastic change in my life, but my values & priorities did change. I stopped trying to please others, the death of a loved one taught me how to cherish the living. I realised I took things wayyy too seriously in the past and I just ended up getting hurt or making myself so so unhappy. I guess I’m learning to let go of things more easily now, and at the same time to hold on to what’s really important to me. The thing is – no one notices the change until we actually see ourselves in pictures (Ms Fang showed a picture of us in Year 5 & I did not realise how hideous my bangs were), or if we read journal entries from the past to see how or thinking changes over time. That’s why I make it a point to pen down my thoughts on this space. The human memory is so limited, how would we realise the change in ourselves to spur us on to keep going – if we do not make an effort to record our experiences?

Embracing change and further growth in the weeks to come. All I need to tide me through this period 1) God 2) Discipline 3) Faith
Can actually feel myself drifting away from some people but I’ve faith in our friendship that we can last through this :)

So I just spent my last teacher’s day ever in school. Have never really gotten attached to teachers till this year.. Special mention to Ms Fang – for all the things that she has done for 6C13, really too numerous to mention :’) For never ever giving up on me despite my unwillingness to work hard for myself at the beginning – and being genuinely happy for me when I improved, for texting me when I left my file in school cos she was so concerned, for being worried for my health when I kept falling sick at one period of time. Just so so much to thank her for. Sad that she’ll be leaving DHS and we can’t visit her in school in the future, but I know 13 will definitely invite her to our future class gatherings hehe. Ms Chen, Mrs Chia, Ms Ng, for being so inspirational, funny, classy, encouraging and for being people whom I truly look up to. It’s only in Year 6 that I really realise the lengths to which the teachers are willing to go to just to help us in whatever way they can, and it’s something that I won’t forget for a long long time to come.

Making it a weekly routine to visit Bushes the kittycat (HAHAHA) with Ruo! She’s so precious I stopped by to say hi to her when I was on my way back to school from the 4L lunch and she rubbed against me to reciprocate my luvvv awww :’) So glad her wound’s getting better & hope she’s looking forward to the weekly treat heh. Looking forward to Fridays every week now!¬†First OCIP meeting was a pleasant experience. The people in the team are all so friendly and nice even though I was super awkward at first HAHA such is life. Relatively high commitment level given that the prelims are fast approaching but I’ll learn to manage. Must always remember why I’m doing this, and who I’m doing this for. Gonna do my research on Cambodia after posting this up. So many things to look forward to at the end of the year :D

Wishing everyone the strength to pull through whatever the day chooses to throw at you. x