So I kept treading so carelessly, thin lines that splintered my ground

1. My body couldn’t have chosen a better time to fall sick, really. Though I knew the CIP camp would tire me out I was really kinda looking forward to it. Oh well guess my life’s destined to be boring forever……… At least my temperature’s back to normal. 

2. I care about our friendship but sometimes I just can’t understand you. No one knows how much I’ve tried but I guess I’m really done, for now.

3. Downloaded The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath on iBooks, can’t wait to read it! Her writing is so thought-provoking and it really strikes the heart. I love writers like that, and I’ve noticed that the more broken they are, the better their writing is. It’s so tragic but beautiful. I’ve been reading I Wrote This For You too, love the style of writing. Someday I want to be able to inspire, to be able to stir emotions in another person, to be able to move someone else to reflect about his/her emotions. I have such a long way to go. For now, writing in my journal will suffice, where no one can judge me. 

4. Managed to catch up with Weilin on Thursday, am glad there is finally time to catch up on each other’s lives. She is the best listener ever I love talking to her :’) We have to continue next week/ tomorrow! Love you even though you might not see this <3 Went to IKEA with Xinxin the other day too haha just like the old times. Glad that nothing has changed and we can still talk nonsense while sharing our lives with each other!

5. Thoughts about people leaving are the most painful ones. Hmmm

6. Thankful for every day that I get to see my loved ones. Note to self: Every day is a second chance, cherish it and don’t sweat the small stuff :) When you look back you’ll realise how you wasted your time dwelling on the unhappy things and you’ll regret it. Here’s to a great week ahead~

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What you hide

When was the last time I cried for someone else? It’s almost as though I felt your pain, yet I know by no measure I can ever feel what you felt. I will never be in your predicament. And now when you laugh, all I see are the things you’re hiding. All the hurt and the pain that you’ve always known. When you smile all I see is your eyes and what they reflect.

If you open up too much, people can fall in and hurt themselves.

I’ve been searching dreary weather for a cloud that’s lined in silver

Have not been posting in a month! I can’t.. write properly anymore. I mean, I didn’t exactly write well in the past but I could at least pen down my thoughts as honestly as I could. Have been trying to pen something down for weeks but nothing comes out of it. I’ve no problem recounting events but I’m having trouble describing my feelings. Lol what happened to me :( 

Cut my hair over the weekend but everyone’s telling me how it looks the same. Chopped three inches off my locks despite telling everyone I wanted short hair. Fickle me. The hairdresser literally spent half an hour telling me why I should keep my hair long it was pretty amusing actually. But obviously he made some sense which is why I decided against cutting my hair short eventually. The past weekend has been really enjoyable especially because of the people I spent it with. Realised how important freedom is to me. Whenever I feel moody or angsty, it’s because I feel trapped & confined. Mostly in the school compound. Never realised how much I like feeling free, feeling like I have control of my own time, not being controlled.  by time (like I am most of the time) I seem to always get the ‘stuffy feeling’ as I like to call it whenever I feel stressed and it. is. horrible I tell you. 

So anyway after the Lit CT (HBIC Ng omg lol the most amusing part of the test) I headed to Wisma to chill with the babes at Starbucks! Talked and slacked for a really long time & camwhored like the deprived little girls we are, lol. I always love the time spent with them no matter what we’re doing because I just feel so comfortable around them. Had dinner at Kenny Rogers with everyone sans Ruo, glad her phone’s alright now :)  

Friday was spent with the beloved squad. I never expected myself to feel so close to this bunch of people, and I guess band really manages to bond people together, no matter how different we are. Was so heartwarming to so many people turn up and even though I might not show it I’m truly thankful for all of them for sticking by the band and being there for each other. Esp those people who played for our last Rhythm <3 I’m not very good with spoken words so I don’t tell them face to face, but my thoughts will probably end up on a card at the end of the year before Sojourn. Stupid me just had to cry at the end of Rhythm can’t stand how emotional I can get at times. We ate at Marche, went to Cold Stone, shopped around and caught the Hunger Games!! Left after the movie to join my family for dinner, time well-spent indeed, haven’t talked to my niece and nephew in ages.

Saturday morning was spent with my dear Isabel :) Went for the CIP briefing then for the MDS Sale! Managed to get something after a long time of searching through the sale items. Met Terence and we had lunch together! Ok I just watched them eat but we vlogged & it was pretty hilarious because Isabel was imitating Effie Trinket. Glad to be able to spend time with both of them together at long last, two people that mean a lot to me ^^ Went to meet the bridesmaids for the Nihon Mura Buffet for Geraldine’s birthday~ Ate like a ginormous pig/ sow and was so unglam I know they won’t judge hahaha. Walked around at the flea and got Ger her gifts. Sneaked off to surprise her with the excuse that we had to ‘go off’, and she was successfully surprised! Love our birthday celebrations, even though we just keep going for buffets hahaha (L)

On a sidenote, I’ve not been having honest, heart to heart talks with many of the people that matter to me and honestly it troubles me. I used to be able to share my thoughts so freely with the people close to me but now I get so caught up with the things I have to do that I neglect the things that I want to do. And truth be told, I’m not putting in enough effort to catch up with these people in the first place. Sigh. 

Okay this post is gonna end abruptly I can’t believe I used my sleep time to type this post haha off to sleep now~