Everybody hurts just a little too much

“A Little Too Much” – Natasha Bedingfield

Sometimes I get too caught up in my own stupid little problems to realise how much the people around me are actually hurting :( And it pains me to see how much they’ve been through yet still putting up a facade everyday. I want to be there for everyone, but I let my commitments get in the way.

Can’t wait for PW to get out of the way.

Feeling so horrible tonight :'(

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Do you know what’s worth fighting for

I am incredibly sorry to whoever who’s reading this space because apparently some people are still reading even though I don’t exactly post very often haha. The reason why there are no posts is not because I don’t write them, I just write them halfway and get distracted. So currently I have um, 5 drafts unposted trololol.

“Losing everything is at the same time the scariest, as well as the most liberating experience you can have. When you have something, – anything, you’ve got to protect it from disappearing. And so worry becomes a resident in your heart. When you’ve got nothing, your heart overflows with gratitude for every offering you receive.”

I feel like this is finally getting to me. Maybe I’m too impulsive when I care too much about something, or when I trust someone too much, but every time something like this comes up I just build more walls to block out the hurt. I just don’t get how some people can be completely nonchalant about such things.. Where’s our fighting spirit? Okay shall not say too much here, the rest shall be for my friends’ ears only.

Yknow what back to PW…………..

Will post stuff of more.. substance soon

(edit) Am done with PW so shall post a bit about yesterday. Had PW meeting at Carls Jnr after svc, and dad cooked for dinner haha :) I did my mum’s nails (lol) and she was so happy. Haha I love my family!! Even though they drive me insane sometimes, they’re the only human source that keeps me sane at other times. Oh the irony.

Have been seeing the ugly side of people recently, myself included. That’s just life, but I really can’t accept it sometimes. When what I see in a person isn’t reflecting what the person really is, I guess I kind of feel betrayed even though it’s just based on my own perceptions. Haha I’m probably talking nonsense to some of you but it makes sense to me. And I’m all for being direct if it’s to help the person improve, but there’s a fine line between insensitivity and being straightfoward. Sigh.

Have been reading more recently and I like it~ Finished A Walk to Remember and currently reading A Thousand Splendid Suns. I love the way Khaled Hosseni writes, it keeps the reader captivated :) Need to write more though, all the writing I’ve been doing has been limited to PW, which kind of sucks by the way. I mean, sometimes I’m really happy when our proposal gets somewhere and I can actually see it happening, but when our teacher comes back with all the comments I’m just like .____. ok.

More PW tmr, OP ahhhhhh

 

September 24

Hi world I think I’m in love with Victor Kim from Quest Crew ehehehe he’s so cute!! And he sings well and his dancing makes me go :o :o :o :o

Okay so I’m halfway through exams and I really can’t wait for all of this to be over!!! Haha I haven’t been going out to enjoy myself in a long long time.. Can’t wait for post-promos hehe gna have a blast, and I can return to church zomg yessss  ^^ Lots of things to settle for band/ resonate/ PW and whatnot too! Thinking about it makes me happy though hehe.

Gonna get down to writing some letters after promos, people need to know how much they’re loved and needed!! I don’t think my friends know how beautiful they are, every single one of them :)

Haha this draft was dated September 24 and I never got down to finish it. Anyway, Victor Kim is the point ehehe

Questions

I completely lost sight of everything I wanted for my life. What happened to me? What happened to my goals? What happened to what I promised myself I would do? Here I am, feeling so useless and disappointed in myself.

Pretty sure I’ve disappointed just about everyone around me, so where do I go from here?

Need to be alone with my thoughts.

:(