The sun had painted patterns on your face

(Morning Lullabies – Ingrid Michaelson)

I’m in love with Ingrid Michaelson’s voice and all her songs hehe could listen to them all day. Went to see the fireworks and the NDP Parade at Marina Mandarin yesterday with the family, was a really pretty sight and good family bonding time, we had fondue, which has become our yearly tradition. Brought econs there but didn’t even touch my file. This weekend was extremely unproductive apart from the mugging with the band peeps and today maybe, but instead of finishing my econs report I watched 3 movies – Hairspray, Beastly and Valentine’s Day this weekend, yay me HAHAHA. Ok at least I’m done with my econs report and gonna start on Lit soon. Thank God tomorrow’s a Thursday. Going to camp at the learning centre till 9, can’t stand studying at home any longer – there’s food, my computer, food, nail polish, my clarinet, etcetc. Yes I know I get distracted at the slightest thing. When will I ever learn to be disciplined… And omg the food and chocolate, if people actually see how much I eat at home.. #singleforlyf trololol~

So many things bothering me lately.. I’m really tired of doing what I don’t like to do. Feeling rather failure-ish of late, like hi I can’t even get my grades up, I’m forever disorganized, always late, not keeping my promises, and the list goes on. And I hate how I never learn from my mistakes, and just end up doing the same stupid things over and over again even though I know how to avoid them. And Iflidafg, bidkwttbmsindwh -_- I feel like my mum is trusting me more now, but I’m just afraid to lose it again so I’m trying to be as honest as I can with her. I feel like I’m not putting enough effort in relationships as I used to. I keep dwelling on things that I cannot change, I keep looking back to the past like that will do me any good. And sometimes it’s just better to keep all these shitty thoughts to myself because no one will wanna hear it, or have anything to say in response for that matter. Ultimately only I can change myself, so why bother other people with all my worries. I guess that’s just part of my personality too, used to solving my own problems, or rather, neglecting them by myself. Better to be miserable alone than to trouble others huh. Yea I say things a lot, I picture things a lot, but when it comes to action where am I? :( It’s just really hard to find someone who understands too.

Sigh. Honestly can’t wait for the next weekend already.

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