Wasn’t it beautiful running wild till you fell asleep, before the monsters caught up to you?

– My favourite line in Innocent, Taylor Swift

I used to think a lot about the past, it’s pretty normal for people to do that right? I used to miss my year 2 life so so much.. It was really the best school year of my life haha. But i kind of learnt the hard way that it’s really no use wanting to go back to where you were. What’s the point really? It’s good to reminisce about the past with old friends etc, but what’s more important than seizing opportunities right in front of you and celebrating the present? It’s a sad realisation that whether we like it or not, we are growing up and growing up fast, and one of my greatest fears is to not make the most of my life now.. And I feel that I’m living my fear everyday :( God please help me to step out of my comfort zone!! Need this breakthrough asap.

School was been stressful, antagonizing, crazy, funny, sleepy, entertaining and unpredictable all at the same time. Love-hate relationship sia. But I’m so thankful to have friends around me to brave this year out together!! Banders, clarinets, 5C13, Wvragx (go figure), 4L, touch ruggers, etc. Love you guys loads (L) There’s too much details in school to be elaborated on though I wish I could, then I can look back and laugh haha. It’s Friday tmr and I’m feeling incredibly excited, hehehe. I end at 145 (COOLIO) & there’s MLG tmr!!! Really praying hard tht Amanda can make it! Math test was super depressing. I’ve never felt so hopeless about a math test, not to mention tht it’s the first one of this year…… Sort out broke down thinking abt how bad at math I am no matter how hard I work, but thank God for friends once again who kinda cheered me up during PW with sweets and notes and words :) Although I have to say this I really hate myself when I start crying and people look right at me and ask me if I’m okay and I feel so unglam and stupid and start crying even more.

Motivation: Possible vietnam ocip, confirmed sydney trip, march holidays, soon-to-be-planned outings :D

Haha ok gonna fall asleep to the sounds of my favourite playlist again!

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It’s really scary how an impression of someone can be changed by stories you hear from others, so you immediately jump to conclusions and assume that they are what you perceive them to be. I’m guilty of that myself, in a sense that I don’t try to get my facts right before saying stuff about another person to someone else, before thinking that they’re a bad person blabla. So I thought about it just now and the truth is, no one wants to be bossy, selfish, etc and I believe that they’re constantly trying to change. And the moment you label them as something it really impacts them even though they don’t say it. So the next time you want to judge someone, think of the last time someone judged you, and think of how badly you wanted to change that stereotype or impression. Everyone deserves a second chance to change, don’t they? Humans are so complicated, but that’s what makes them beautiful too I guess.

Senior High is really very different. I really like it that we are given the freedom to be more independent now, but it’s like we are responsible for everything now, all our failures and disappointments etcetc, definitely more stressful but I guess we just have to get used to it? :)

我走在每天必須面對的分岔路
我懷念過去單純 美好的小幸福
愛總是讓人哭讓人覺得不滿足
天空很大卻看不清楚好孤獨

So apt.

Sometimes I’m just a whole lot of talk and no action.

I want to change that.

For you, a thousand times over.

So I’ve been reading the Kite Runner since just now and I read ten chapters straight omg that book is seriously awesome. Go read it if you haven’t okay!! So worth your time.

TODAY IS MY FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK. (Obviously)
Met weilin in the morning to study, but we ended up talking as usual hahaha and we couldn’t do the first question of the math supplementary lol fail with a capital f. Went to subway to eat our breakfast first then went to teadot to have some strawberry tiramisu, listened to Lotus Sutra tgt both of us love it so much!!! Motivated to work harder and harder and harderrrrr. Then went to KOI to get Green Tea Macchiato but both of us were so noob we couldn’t figure out how to drink it so I had to call Amanda Cheng for help LOL. Not that great la I prefer ice cream milk tea hehe. Planned a secret outing muahaha for pigs only laughed a lot and rectangular siewmais and parted ways!! Always love time spent with her, she’s one of the few people I can tell everything to and know she won’t judge, yet at the same time constantly insult each other haha. Confidante and best friend! :)

Went for service which in my opinion was the best service this year, cos it’s about love and showing love, and what are humans without love? Shall elaborate more in a private post, but the gist of it is I am so so amazed by You Lord and I’ll love others like how You have loved me! :D Left nexus with a very convicted and hopeful heart :) Wanted to get my starbucks card with Rachel but I didn’t have enough money. Gosh my money is seriously all going to my tummy fats hahahaha.

Then I went home and read the Kite Runner + awesome dinner. So history’s kind of undone. HA.

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I haven’t been posting this week!! Hmmm shall attempt to recall what’s been going on..
Monday: Celebrations in school > 5C13 lunch @ Ajisen > Mugging with Xinxin and ger at the library~
Tuesday: Back2school, had SP after school but I forgot to bring my clarinet so I studied a bit with weilin while waiting for Viv then me and wl went to get Koi + mcwings. Haha pig ttm. But I love it~
Wednesday: We had band and there was good news! Woo I re-found my passion for the band hehe
Thursday: Had a super bad day but it ended off great with LG with the year 5s :) They brighten up my life~ HAHA I had to do some disgusting forfeit, poor laura+me!!! Lol had a great time anyway love them!
Friday: Went back to take the non-SYF juniors with chingwoon and they improved a bit, happy ttm haha. It started raining super heavily and I got really wet :( Met xt and her friends and we went home tgt haha pasir ris peeps ftw. Was insanely tired after I went back so I took a nap omg worst decision ever cos I woke up with really red eyes and I felt so groggy. Boo. Headed over to my uncle’s house @ WOODLANDS had a really great time with my cousins even though they were all playing dota at first lol wth. I will never get tht game.

Ok my memory’s not so bad after all. Oh shit pepper crab awaits I shall come back to edit this post later

5 years

Seeing the family drift apart bit by bit when you’re gone really breaks my heart.

CNY this year feels really different to me, and I can’t believe it’s already been 5 years since my grandma passed away. The family seems to be growing smaller and smaller every CNY, because so many people are caught up with their busy lives, their other relatives and friends and their busy schedules. I’ve really been blessed for all the years before this because I got a chance to experience the true warmth of a big family, laughter heard all around the house and everyone wishing each other well. But this year I’ve really come to realise that people sometimes forget the meaning of being a family together in the first place. Our fundamental beliefs of togetherness are doubted because of our busy lives. Children play with their DS, iPod, handphone etc and nobody cares to have a proper conversation anymore. It really saddens me but in a weird kind of way. Like more of a realization more than anything. When my grandmother was around the family was really a lot more together than now, now sisters and quarrelling, people don’t turn to their family anymore for help, and it really makes me wonder where did all that we have go?

And looking at all the tweets about others being bored at their relatives’ house really only goes to show how much time we actually take to get to know our relatives and make an effort to talk to them. We’re put in a family for a reason, not to just be a member of that family who’s easily overlooked and overlooks people, but to really be a salt and light, and to really shower love and concern to the other family members, take some time to know them better and not just go through the notion of paying visits to each others houses, collecting red packets and wishing to leave the moment you get there. I’ve been there before, being miserable about going to some relative’s house that you don’t even talk to normally, why should we have anything to talk about during Chinese New Year anyway? And some of us might not like our relative’s behaviour/ attitude but we just have to accept them for who they are, don’t we? I used to dislike my father’s side of the family a lot, because compared to my maternal relatives they were a lot more ‘boring’ to me, and didn’t really joke much and stuff. When we meet up for dinners and stuff I would be quiet and would play with my phone or sth. But I’ve realised now that after meeting them every week that they are such a fun bunch of people to be with, and as much as my uncle’s behaviour used to put me off in the past, I realised that we are, after all, part of one big family and sometimes, family’s really all you’ve got. Now, even though my maternal side of the family is beginning to disappoint me, I’m becoming closer to my paternal relatives and I’m so thankful to God for that.

CNY really isn’t about the goodies, about the red packets, or about the celebrations. It’s really about the family, the togetherness and the love that we share. I just had this urge to type this here and I’m still contemplating if I should make this private or not, because I know not many people come here anyway. So if you do by any chance, I hope you find meaning in what I just typed. God bless you & I really hope you cherish what you have :)

We are family~

I really love my family a lot :) Going to bai nian at my paternal aunt’s then jiejie pat’s house! I love CNY sosososo much.

Oyea here are some pics from my birthday! :)

My mummy so cute :D I love them all!!!!!!!!!!!

When all you gotta keep is strong

I’m in an extremely good mood today because I got to catch up with the 4L babes!! Really miss them so much hehe we shld meet up more often! :)

So after school we headed to bugis for lunch (PEPPER LUNCH) > Iluma for KOI > Bugis street to squeeze w people (and saw someone there hahaha) > Iluma to talk and talk and comb hair and laugh. Hahaha. Jamie and Jialing joined us too, hope they can adapt well in VJ, really miss them man.. Love all of yall so much (L)

Had touch rugby and kirin dinner ytd, I love the ruggers + my house a lot!!! Not to forget 5C13 haha I always laugh so much when I’m w them. Reached home super late aft kirin dinner ytd!! Oh and my fb status is a joke, hahaha ruowei.

Clarinet reunion dinner on Friday!!!! My clarinets are all awesome people I love them so much. They really feel like family to me, and we always laugh so much when we’re together being retarded tgt. Hehe. Went shopping for ingredients w CW, Kristal, Isabel and Roy before haha DAMN FUN :D We were like the kids going with parents to shop for groceries hahaha. And we were so efficient WOOT.

SUPER SHOW 3 ON SATURDAY. Best 3 hours of my life~~~~~~~~~~~ :D They’re really super talented and sincere and better looking in person!!! Enjoyed myself a lot and it all felt like an awesome dream lol. I want SS4, LOL.

Shit I realised I forgot to buy stuff for my mortal(s). I have 3 btw. OMG. :(

I can’t wait for CNY to bai nian and stuff hahaha I’m gonna FORGET ABT ALL MY WORK accidentally. Ok idk what to type anymore I shall upload pics on fb, relatives are coming over in like an hour :o Hope all of yall will have a great CNY holiday!!

This post is damn random ROFL. I’m too tired to think and I feel like sleeping. Sorry all you silent readers this is a crappy post.